get that feeling?

Remember when you were a child and nothing else mattered but just being a kid? Now in the place we call the "adult world" everything matters. I cant help but feel emotionless in which everything should matter. The anger that I have held in for so long just wont go away. I feel it and see it everyday. It scatches at my heart. I can try and close my eyes and forget but you still fill the black void. I keep holding you close yet I want to set you ablaze. It hurts so damn deep. Im on the 18th floor balcony and I just want to jump. SCREAM. [at the top of my lungs] You took my mind and all my thoughts and turned them to word vomit and I cant help but want to purge. I try to sleep and still see you in my dreams. FUCK. YOUR EVERYWHERE. Anywhere and everywhere I dont want you to be. I should have known what I was getting myself into huh? Ill be loves suicide. Ill fight my way back from the dead and whelp... Keep seeing you. Until then...Good day.